Dancing with the Devil!

So, my fellow followers, I bet your wondering why/ how on earth a young female like me ended up in such an abusive relationship.  Well this is where the story begins, where I first ‘danced with the devil’ (Rotten Ring).

I was around 18 years old at the time.  It was 2005 and I had been thrown out of my ‘so called’ family home.  I had nowhere to stay, and my granny took me in.  I had never had much to do with my granny until this time – other than the occasional trip to see her the odd weekend with my mum as a child.  Funnily enough, these occasional trips were about the only time my mum and I spent together.  It was the start of a New Year and my mums boyfriend was being really nasty to me.  he was in the attic with my brother, as they were sorting out storage boxes.  we hadn’t lived in this house long and my mothers boyfriend had been on the scene for two minutes.  he was an arrogant man, who spoke over everyone and he looked like Barry Evans off the car lot on Eastenders.  I will never forget that look he gave me as I walked out of my small bedroom, which was uncarpeted and cluttered with everyone’s crap, across the uncarpeted landing.  He then said to my brother, as he still gave me a sarcastic look, “Where’s that coat your mum told me about, the Newcastle one your sister got off Kevin Keegan.  Your mum said I can put it on eBay.”  Immediately, I thought, “Good question!  Where the heck is it?!”  I made my way down the flights of stairs in our three storey town house and questioned my mum.  She was busy cleaning, or something, as per usual!  She told me it was in my brothers room.  I looked in his room, which had a clothes rail supplied to him via my aunty (my mums twin), and I couldn’t not find it.  I made my way back down the stairs and quizzed my mam again.  She then told me it was in her wardrobe. I made my way back up the stairs and couldn’t not find the Newcastle United football coat anywhere.  I was pissed off!  I made my way back down the stairs and told my mam to stop messing me around.  This turned in to a heated disagreement, as it was obvious my mother was ‘again’ lying to me.  At this point, I heard a loud bang and before I knew it, my mums boyfriend was in my face shouting at me and telling me how to behave.  I immediately stated, “who the f@ck do you think you are like, my dad?!”  He then pushed, and I fell on to our Barker and Stonehouse black leather couch.  I can picture the room now as I recall the incident.  I stood up from the couch, a little startled at first, as my mother stood there and said nothing.  This man, who was nothing to me, continued to raise his voice t me and he pushed me again.  I immediately bounced up from off our sofa and pushed him full force.  I knew he didn’t expect to be pushed, as I gazed at the look on his face.  Anyways, I then made way to the stairs and he followed me as he continued to shout.  I then felt a hand grab hold of the back of my neck, and I was pushed onto the stairs.  He was a large man, and his voice went straight through me, if I’m honest!  I turned around as I fell, and he was leant over me with his fist in the air, spitting as he rhymed on.  I had no alternative but to put my foot in his groin area to keep distance between us, as my mum stood there watching in silence.  I told him to, “Get the F off me!”  As he looked round to see my mum standing slightly behind him to his right, stood observing on our Quick-Step wood flooring, he let go of me.  I made my way upstairs and laid on bed livid with what had happened, and wondering/ worrying if my Newcastle coat was being auctioned on eBay.  He shouted abuse up the stairs, stating that I’m lazy, don’t want to work (even though I had a well paid job at the time) and being extremely rude.  My brother at this point was in his bedroom, and I could hear him sniggering – this really pissed me off, as my dad would of stuck up for me.  I was being bullied in my family home.  The last straw was when the tosser called me ‘fat, lazy and ugly’.  Up until this point, I was letting stuff go over my head, but ‘fat” and ‘ugly’ in the same sentence infuriated me!  I jumped off my bed and made my way across my wooden, dusty, uncarpeted cluttered bedroom flooring – and I slammed my bedroom door, hard!  As I turned around, the door swung back open and I was lifted off the floor and flung onto my bed, which laid horizontally across the window.  I bounced off the sash window, luckily it wasn’t open or I would of fallen out and most likely died on impact had I landed on the concrete steps which lead up to our bottle green front door.  I was in shock, this man was a nobody to me and he was pushing me around in my own bedroom!  I mean, I could understand him being annoyed that I had slammed my door, especially since he had spent all morning removing and plastering over the horrid vent which was once above my bedroom door.  But that doesn’t give him permission to come upstairs and throw me around like a ragdoll, especially when he started the whole thing anyways.

You see, the Newcastle coat wasn’t just Kevin Keegan’s coat.  I was with my now deceased dad when I was handed this coat off Kevin Keegan.  I was around seven or eight years old at the time, and we had gone to watch Newcastle football team train at Bowburn.  My dad had rushed me out, and I had forgotten my coat.  We were stood there getting my Newcastle football calendar signed by the football players, when it came to getting a signature off Kevin Keegan I had a Paper-Mate gold pen ready for him.  I always remember my dad seeing Kevin Keegan get out of his sports car, and as my dad shouted, ” Oi, Kev any chance of an autograph?” he made his way over to us.  I handed him my calendar and he looked at me as I stood there shivering in the wind.  I handed him my gold pen as he looked through the pages to see who’s signatures I had already got.  He then said to me, “A gold pen, I must be special!”  I replied, “Yeah, your the boss!”  He laughed and then said, “You look a bit cold!”  I nodded and replied, “I am”.  He then told me to follow him.  The three of us made way to the back of his car, and he opened his boot.  He then pulled out a long black Newcastle United coat, which had the Newcastle football team badge on one chest and some form of motor rally badge on the other chest, and he handed it to me stating, “Here you are, you can ‘borrow’ this but DON’T nick off with it!”  Obviously, with me skiving school for the full morning and Kev Keegan being fully occupied with his team – well, you could say I borrowed it for a long time!  I’m sure he didn’t mind, as Robbie Elliott and the team teased him about the kid who pinched his coat.  Anyways, this coat meant a lot to me and I wasn’t prepared to but up with the torment off my mams new fella – not a chance!

So anyways, when he told me, “Your mum doesn’t want you here!”  I said fine, walked out the house with a few clothes and rang my granny in tears.  My granny told me to get a train through to her house.  I was working full-time at the time through an agency for Winter Fuel Payments.  Obviously, with no home and no friends who I could stay with, my only option was to go and stay with my granny – so I did.  I had no transport, as I couldn’t drive and I was not in a fit state of mind to keep my job up.  My psycho aunty got involved with the situation, and I began my late teens claiming benefits – gone were the days of going to uni to do forensic science!  After around seven weeks I was offered a flat in a village, namely ‘Brompton’.  This is where the met The Devil, aka ‘Rotten Ring’.

January 11th 2008, I remember!

So back in 2008 on January the 11th (I believe!) I was sat on my brown faux leather corner couch gazing at a photo of Kato which was stood on top of my Pioneer speaker.  Rotten Ring came down the stairs, “What’s up?” he asked. “I’m just sat thinking why on earth Kato was laid out dead, looking as if someone had kicked his head like it was a football!” I replied.  ”What do you mean?” he asked.  ”I mean, wtf did you do to my dog who was minding his own business?  That’s what I mean!” I abruptly asked him.  ”What time is it?” he asked.  ”Don’t change the subject, and answer the question!”  I said.  He replied with, “I’m gonna be late for work, just leave it, the dog is dead.”  He then jumped up off the couch and went upstairs.  I heard him physically being sick – which made me think, guilty drugged up maniac scum!  I hated him officially from that day.  He had blatantly killed the best thing in my life, my dog, the  one who gave me a paw when I was feeling down, or a light nudge just to let me know he cared, let alone the cuddles and that deep gazing look he gave into my eyes to reassure me that no matter how tough times got ‘Kato’ was there 110% for me – words can’t describe how much I loved that dog, and our bond was unbreakable, until January 8th 2008, of course!

After Rotten Ring had been sick with guilt upstairs, he came down the stairs and just left the house without answering my question or even saying bye.  I immediately got my phone out and text, ‘Yeah, go and do one. Kato!’ I got a reply via SMS saying, ‘Not the first time, Kato.’  I thought, wtf?! Had he been beating the dog up without me knowing?  What exactly did he mean by ‘not the first time’.  I was baffled!  Of course, I text him a whole load of other abuse, seen as he hadn’t the back bone to answer my calls and explain what he meant!  I was livid.  I told him if I ever seen him I would smash his face across the pavement, and I sincerely meant it!  Still to this day, I am yet to bump in to the dog murdering scum bag – I would like to think that he never crosses my path, as I would dread to think how I will react – due to the anger and hurt this so called man has caused me.

It became apparent that he had told his mates he wasn’t in the house at the time of Kato’s death.  At one point, one of his wannabe gypsy friends even text me back telling me I was full of bull-sh*t!  Of course, she wasn’t there that morning, and she hadn’t heard what I had heard.  They soon fell out with anyways, months later – due to him trying to steal off their Beira, and frightening some woman with the way he went on when he was off his head

 - ‘look at that UFO!’ He said, which left her (probably) ‘thinking are you on glue?’  He was a complete idiot!  I mean, he probably was seeing something – but I highly doubt it was a UFO – why would a UFO travel light years to show/ possibly abduct a drug taking man who’s been on the stuff since I was in diapers? (Of course, ‘I was the blame of his drug habit’ according to his family).  Aw well – their loss, and another family’s gain in my eye, I mean I always was too good for village/ country bumpkin life.  Why is it everyone seems to think they no EVERYTHING about you if you move to a village?  Why is it, if your face don’t fit they make your life unbearable?  And why on earth can the majority of them not see passed their own nose?  Hmmmm, there’s a few future posts perhaps.

Meanwhile, I’m back in the real world on this fine Wednesday morning.  I’m sat on the bus heading to work with my iPad 4th Gen 64gb thinking why on earth did I allow myself to be with such low life scum? As well as thinking, ‘Jeeeeesh, what a lucky escape I had’.  Followed by, ‘OMG, and I have an eCommerce website which I run and 3 A-levels!’ Lol – I know for a fact that Rotten Ring is still in with a drug crowd/ alcoholics, and funnily enough his girlfriend tends not to speak to anyone when in his mates company (i can relate to that though, because who would want to sit with their boyfriends mate, when your boyfriend tells you time and time again that his mates hate you? – exactly!)  Seems I definitely had a lucky escape – despite losing my dog to the hands of a drug using maniac.

So my boyfriend killed my dog!

So yesterday, my boyfriend killed my dog – well, not yesterday, but yesterday 2008! So anyways, I’m still in shock and I can’t believe that I am never going to see my best friend, the dog, ever again! This dog, Kato, was my best friend – he seen me through some very tough times, which funnily enough were brought on by my mother and my (at this moment in time) soon to be ex boyfriend.

So it’s January 9th 2008, and the house has an eery silence. There’s no need for me to get out of bed this morning, I mean, I have no dog to feed, no dog to walk and no dog for me to say, “Morning Kato!” As soon as I woke up, I was aware that the dog wasn’t there, as he usually woke me up by sitting at the side of my bed and sniffing in my ear, followed by a gentle paw on my Dorma throw. Oh I missed him sooo much!

The events from yesterday were not yet quite ready to unfold due to shock, and also possibly because my life/ relationship with the dog murdering retard was up and down constantly that I just couldn’t get my head around what had actually happened – I felt semi-retarded! I kept thinking to myself, why on earth was my dog laid out as if someone had kicked his head across the floor like it was a soccer ball!? It baffled me for around three-four full days.

Ya see, yesterday with things happening so quickly and Rotten Ring (that’s the name given to the murdering scum for those of you who have just tuned in) constantly hovering around me, well my head was just in bits! Of course, I had no friends at the time to turn to, and my mum and brother weren’t even close to me. I had no contacts in my phone, due to my Nokia 7380 being smashed off my bedroom radiator weeks before! I was literally a hermit, a hermit with no friends – a f*cking hermit ‘Gemini loner!’

I remember crying myself to sleep the night before, and Rotten Ring telling me, “Will you stop crying, it was just a dog!” I remember thinking, ‘I can’t abide you ya muppet, and I can’t believe I am going to be tied to you because of a child – which you won’t even be able to support, seen as you can’t support ya self!’ Obviously, I didn’t challenge him about it – didn’t exactly want to put myself through another ‘happy slap’ off the piss weak fett headed scum, did I? I let it go over my head, as my brain still processed what had happened. Obviously during these few days he was telling people he associated with two/ three complete different stories of the event. The best one was to someone in my hometown, another retard to be exact, “I wasn’t even at the house when the dog died!” Of course you weren’t you mentalist, cuckoo-cuckoo it’s skits o’clock – I mean, that explains why when I have a flash back I see my mom stood in her work uniform balling her eyes out. Jeeeesh, suck eggs you lying, dirty scummy low life country bumpkin. I think I best draw this post to an end, before I get sued for slander, ‘yadda, yadda, yadda!’

Next time, I’ll go on to tell you guys how the ‘phantom dog murder’ went on to carry my dog in to the vets… Seen as he was ‘supposedly’ out of town that day.

 

I still know what you did January 8th 2008!

So it’s January 8th, and what a tough day this is for me! I thought after losing my dad that nothing could ever happen to me to cause me so much pain ever again – how wrong was I! January 8th 2008 was the worst day of my entire existence.

Remember Kato, my Japanese Akita dog? Well he’s 6yrs old. The time is 9.40am and I am currently asleep in bed, pregnant. All of a sudden I could hear the Devil (he’s my ex boyfriend, who my friends and I refer to as being ‘Rotten Ring’) telling my dog to move out of his way. Kato was laid in the kitchen minding his own business. I listened and heard the fridge door open. Rotten Ring then took a can out of our fridge and made his way towards the kitchen door. He was talking to my dog like shit, saying, “If you think I’m stepping over you, not today sunshine!”. At this point, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Next thing I heard was Kato growl, which was very out of character for Kato! I also heard Rotten Ring saying, “Go on!”. Suddenly I heard my dog yelp a high pitched yelp. At this point I jumped out of bed and threw my clothes on. I had made my way to the bottom of my bed and I heard Rotten Ring say, “Sorry Kato, are you ok?” I then heard Rotten Ring walk up the stairs. As he got half way up the stairs, I heard him open a can. He entered the bedroom with a can of alcohol in his hand. “Is Kato alright?!” I asked. “I don’t know” he replied. “What d’ya mean you don’t know!?” I said. He replied, “I haven’t seen him!” he said. “Well where have you just been then?” I asked confusedly! “To the toilet stupid!” he said. “No you haven’t!” I shouted. “Yes I have!” he replied. “Well you haven’t got the fu@king can from the bathroom for a start!” I stated. At this point I walked towards the bedroom door. “Where are you going?” he asked. “To check on my fu@king dog!” I said. “He’s ok, honest, he’s just asleep. He’s just asleep!” he slavered! “He better be alright!” I stated. Rotten ring sat down on the bed, in his grubby YSL t-shirt, and put his head in his hands.

I made my way down the steep stairs, which were covered in a cheap textured carpet (it was a rented unfurnished property). At the bottom of the stairs I turned right in to the front room. Straight ahead I could see the white glossed kitchen door, which had been closed over. I knew for certain my dog was on the other side of the door. As I opened the door, I couldn’t believe what I actually saw! My dog was laid there with his front legs one way and his head twisted and laid the other way. In a shocked manner I said, “The dog is dead”. “Sorry?” echoed down the stairs. “The fu@king dog is dead!” I stated in sheer shock! “You’re joking!” was what I heard next.

Rotten Ring came down the stairs and entered the living room. “I’m sorry Ellie”, he said as he attempted to hug me. “What are you sorry for? You didn’t do anything, did you??!!” I said, still in a state of disbelief and thinking, OMG I’m pregnant and I’m going to be tied to this drug fuelled muppet for the rest of my life!

I called my mum, and explained that the dog was dead. My mum arrived at the home with my brother. Rotten Ring immediately panicked and stated, “I’ll just move the dog in to a more natural position”. He moved the dogs twisted front end and laid him to look peacefully asleep. I was heart broken!

When my mum and brother arrived, my mum was in tears. I was waiting for a chance to tell my mum that my dog was murdered, but Rotten Ring kept persisting to hover around us.

My head was in bits! I kept thinking, ‘oh my god, please don’t take another baby from me – what have I done to deserve this!?’ My mom was telling me to not get upset, as I had a baby to think about. I could not believe I had found my dog dead! I was in complete shock, and I didn’t know how to get my words out – I felt numb, and ashamed that I had ‘once again’ let this retard back in to my life, and these were the consequences. I mean, two weeks before the Police were around, telling me ‘off record’ and as ‘a friend’ of my brother, “Whatever you do, promise me you will not let this man back in your home, because you wouldn’t want anything happening to your dog.” Needless to say, I took no notice once I had found out I was pregnant. I should of tool notice though – I should of took myself, Kato and my unborn baby and started a fresh far away! I didn’t though.

So today is the January 8th, it’s five years on since the murder of my dog. And it plays over and over again, and each year I believe is a year closer to ‘karma’. I believe hope is for people with no faith, and that god is kind. Will tomorrow be the day I learn this retard has wrapped himself around a tree? Probably not. I just know in my heart of hearts, that the goon in question (as I can’t say ‘man in question’ as there’s nothing manly about animal cruelty!) will one day bark up the wrong tree and end up paying for his sins – fingers crossed he lives a long and suffering life, the drugged up pathetic piece of scum! Until then, I’ll keep attending counselling and putting up with the nightmares and recurrent flash backs – because not only was Kato the victim.

R.i.P Kato, my BIG white polar bear of a dog! In my heart forever, love and miss you forever and always my fur child!

Kato: my best friend for life!

When Kato first arrived home with us, he settled straight in. Kato was good as gold. I loved Kato so much and felt like I had someone to talk to about my problems, someone who would listen to my problems and someone who loved me unconditionally and would be there for me no matter what. Kato was all these things!

My brother absolutely loved Kato. I would often come downstairs to find my brother asleep on the kitchen laminate floor with his quilt snuggled up to Kato! Kato was not allowed upstairs, due to us having a gypsy style carpet – which showed up Kato’s white hair.

My brother and I often brought Kato upstairs, and I would often lay on my bed with my laptop in front of me doing my college coursework whilst Kato laid beside me. As soon as I knew my mother was due home I would escort Kato downstairs and put him in his kennel – which was actually the massive double garage we had going spare, as my mum never garaged her car. Kato loved his spacious home.

When I would return home from college Kato would always jump up and perch his front two paws on the garden wall and watch me walk down the street with his mouth wide open, his tail wagging and so much love and affection in his eyes. He often looked like he was smiling.

Kato and I would spend hours walking around the whole of the town, from Yarm Road area right across to Broken Scarr and back again. Kato became my best friend and my rock! I loved him with all my heart and he just knew it.

Meeting Kato!

When I first set eyes on Kato, I was quite wary due to his size. Kato, a plain white Japanese Akita, was from the Redwitch bloodline and had over 13 champions in his bloodline. The dog was 10 months old when I first met him.

I remember his pristine white fur like it was yesterday! When my mother and I entered the owners home, it became apparent that this dog had been well loved and respected by the three children the owners had. The youngest children were twins and the eldest was a girl of around 14 years old. The mother of the kids sat us down in the living room.

I remember sitting on a brown leather sofa in this immaculately kept home. Kato bounced over to me and I initially felt frightened, as he appeared to look kind of wolf like! He put his paw on my knee and we made a connection which was like no other bond I have ever experienced. I fell in love with this dog from day one! I stroked his head as he gazed so deep in to my eyes – this dog was just unreal!

Kato came with a red harness and numerous toys. His favourite toy was a pink screwdriver squeaky dog toy, which he would often favour amongst the rest of his toy collection.

When my mother and I decided we were getting him, I felt so shocking on the children who had been such a major part in moulding this dog in to a loveable gentle giant!

As we were about to leave, the eldest child returned home. Her mother asked her if she wanted to say goodbye to Kato. The girl made her way up the stairs with her head down and looked devastated. I thought, ‘OMG, what will the youngest kids be feeling? How will they take the news?!’

Kato, my mother and I made our way to the car. Kato’s old owner came to say goodbye and Kato just didn’t seem bothered. I had hold of his red lead and we triumphed off to my mums car. At the time my mum had a red Renault Megane convertible which had a black roof. Kato sat on the back seats and waited patiently for my mother. We made our way home and I couldn’t wait to show off my big white puppy!

College: my mother is not encouraging!

I had to beg my mam to take me to college open night. She was a nightmare! If anything was for my best interests, you could guarantee my mother would not show an ounce of interest. I hated her for it! Of course, I was young and wasn’t allowed an opinion of my own towards my mother and her way of parenting me – as the rest of the family would start on me telling me a load of crap which wasn’t even relevant. It was obvious my mother had her opinions regarding me addressed to these retards – poisoning them against me before I’d even had my say!

My mum was adamant that I had to go to college. She used to say if I didn’t go she would lose out on ‘family allowance’. I thought, ‘ooooh right, so your blatantly only interested when something is to benefit you and your bank balance? Cheers mum!’

We went to the college open evening. I was enrolled on to a Health and Social Care course. When the course started, I immediately knew that it wasn’t my cup of tea – what with all the ‘child care’ aimed work, etc. The tutor already knew I wanted to join the police force, so why on earth the college had advised me that this course was appropriate was beyond my comprehension. I swapped courses after a month!

My new course was held at the old Larchfield Sports Centre. It was a drab building, but it was somewhere I attended karate so I knew my way around the building well. The course I had swapped on to was a BTEC National Diploma in Advanced Uniform Services. There were only around ten students on the course, and all our tutors were pretty cool.

Of course, the day I properly started college was the day we moved house, yet again! We had moved from one end of town back to the original side of town, near my old school (which I am sure I have already spoke about!). My mum was smitten with the cockney guy, who was still jobless! I was working part time at McDonalds, which was great considering the blast we used to have! My ex best friend used to work there and it was such a laugh, god those were the days!

Anyways, I always remember getting paid and splashing out on Benefit make-up. I once spent £225.00 in one go on the stuff. I think at this point I was advised to open a Fraser card, but I’m not quite sure if I was old enough at the time. I did actually open one at a later date, wouldn’t recommend this to any young individual – it’s asking for trouble and seems forever ‘maxed up!’ At one point I remember working 12 hour shifts on the McDonalds drive through worrying if a ‘mystery shopper’ was going to come through. I only worked 12 hour shifts to be able to save some money for the pedigree Japanese Akita dog I was intending to get.

Finally my mum agreed that we could get a dog. Her friend from work told us that his friend who used to own a pet shop had a plain white Japanese Akita dog which they needed to re-home, due to their show dog Bullmastiff not getting along with the Akita. We arranged to see the dog, and I just couldn’t wait!